In a Slump

TDP Episode 81 photoEpisode 81:  In a Slump, by host, Laura Milkins. Our guest, Marianne Dissard, tells the story of her depression and discusses her new book about how the experience of being on the road for months as a musician, lead to feelings of isolation and depression. Sunday, February 25, 2018.

Marianne Dissard online:

Excepts read on air:


Feel A Depressive Episode Coming On? Here Are 10 Things You Can Do To Help Yourself – by JP Thorpe

The reality of depression is that, rather than being a constant, it typically ebbs and flows. The patches of time where you feel seriously down are known as “depressive episodes.” That’s when depression really gets on top of you — when you can’t get out of bed and the sadness, blackness, and lack of hope seem inescapable. The good news is that they often pass relatively quickly, and with a little experience, it’s actually pretty easy to feel them coming on. If you’re starting to feel negative thoughts encroach on your brain and stop being able to enjoy things, then you know that Bad Times Are A-Comin’. But this early warning phase can actually present opportunities to help yourself prepare for your forthcoming depression.

1. Make An Appointment With A Professional, Stat

2. Give Yourself Reasons To Leave The House

3. Eat More Fish – Omega-3s, which are found in fatty, oily fish, are believed to have a positive impact on mood.

4. Up Your Exercise Game

5. Tell People Close To You

6. Start Monitoring Your Sleep And Wakefulness

7. Stock Up On Products That Support Your Well-Being

8. Schedule Something You’ll Look Forward To In The Near Future

9. Plan Time For Relaxing Self-Care

10. Try To Identify Your Triggers



TDP Episode 80 photoEpisode 80:  Unsure, by host, Laura Milkins. Our guest, Mark Hosler, co-founder of the audio-visual group Negativland, tells the story of his depression and grief, after the loss of 6 people he was close to, and how the death of his brother years before gave him some strategies for coping. Sunday, February 18, 2018.

Links to Mark’s work

Excerpts from an article on Grief from WebMD

What Is Normal Grieving, and What Are the Stages of Grief?

Grief is a natural response to losing someone or something that’s important to you. You may feel a variety of emotions, like sadness or loneliness. And you might experience it for a number of different reasons. Maybe a loved one died, a relationship ended, or you lost your job. Other life changes, like chronic illness or a move to a new home, can also lead to grief.

Everyone grieves differently. But if you understand your emotions, take care of yourself, and seek support, you can heal.

What Are the Stages of Grief?
Your feelings may happen in phases as you come to terms with your loss. You can’t control the process, but it’s helpful to know the reasons behind your feelings. Doctors have identified five common stages of grief:

Denial: When you first learn of a loss, it’s normal to think, “This isn’t happening.” You may feel shocked or numb. This is a temporary way to deal with the rush of overwhelming emotion. It’s a defense mechanism.
Anger: As reality sets in, you’re faced with the pain of your loss. You may feel frustrated and helpless. These feelings later turn into anger. You might direct it toward other people, a higher power, or life in general. To be angry with a loved one who died and left you alone is natural, too.
Bargaining: During this stage, you dwell on what you could’ve done to prevent the loss. Common thoughts are “If only…” and “What if…” You may also try to strike a deal with a higher power.
Depression: Sadness sets in as you begin to understand the loss and its effect on your life. Signs of depression include crying, sleep issues, and a decreased appetite. You may feel overwhelmed, regretful, and lonely.
Acceptance: In this final stage of grief, you accept the reality of your loss. It can’t be changed. Although you still feel sad, you’re able to start moving forward with your life.

Every person goes through these phases in his or her own way. You may go back and forth between them, or skip one or more stages altogether. Reminders of your loss, like the anniversary of a death or a familiar song, can trigger the return of grief.


TDP Episode 79 photoEpisode 79:  Talkative, by host, Laura Milkins. Our guest, Brad Poole, tells the story of his depression, starting in childhood, and how Cognitive Behavioral Therapy has helped him more with depression than medication or other types of therapy. Sunday, February 4, 2018.

What If You Talk Too Much?
The cure for verbosity depends on its cause.
Posted Jan 22, 2015

In the confidentiality of my office, many clients have complained about coworkers, romantic partners, and friends who talk too much.

The cure depends on its cause.

You’d like to talk less but can’t make yourself stop. Use the Traffic Light Rule. During the first 30 seconds of an utterance, your light is green: The listener is on-board with you. During the next 30 seconds, your light is yellow: the person may be wanting you to stop, if only because s/he has something to add and fears s/he’ll forget by the time you finish. After the one-minute mark, your light is red: Yes, you’ll occasionally want to “run a red light,” for example, when telling something important or interesting that would take even a concise person more than a minute. But usually you should stop at the one-minute mark. If your conversation partner wants more, s/he may ask, and if not, you can ask “Would you like more detail?” or “Is there anything more you’d like to know about that?”

If you can’t seem to make yourself follow the Traffic Light Rule, perhaps you’re not good at estimating how long a minute is. Try this: Talk with a friend, setting a timer for one minute each time you begin an utterance. If you’re too talkative, you’ll often find yourself going on for longer.

If you predict an utterance could last more than a minute, before launching in, take just a moment to remind yourself to be concise. That will encourage you to self-edit.

You think that others appreciate your verbosity. Here are signs they’re not so appreciative: As you talk, do people other than laid-back types sometimes do one or more of the following:

  • Sigh
  • tap their fingers
  • tap their feet
  • shake their foot
  • nod impatiently as if saying “Get on with it.”
  • interrupt you
  • turn slightly away
  • take a step away
  • rarely start a conversation with you? For example, do they tend to walk past your cubicle without establishing eye-contact and in the break room not initiate conversation with you?
  • Are you the one you usually initiates contact? For example, you’re the one who phones friends and relatives?

Of course, there are many reasons a person would avoid you or feel frustrated with you, but one is loquacity.

You don’t realize you’re talking more than most people want to hear. A conversation isn’t a monologue. It’s a tennis game: back and forth with the ball in each court roughly half the time. Aim to talk between 1/3 and 2/3 of the time, in 5- to 60-second bits. If you’re often outside those ranges, you’ll probably want to change.

An unusually interesting person can make longer utterances. The question is whether you’re unusually interesting. To help assess that, ask an honest, not unduly-talkative person to have a conversation with you. Ask him or her to raise a finger each time s/he feels s/he wishes you’d stop talking.

You realize your loquacity bothers people but you decide it’s worth the price.

For example, you may enjoy talking about your vacation, pop culture, bragging about your family or even about yourself. Or you know you’ll gain clarity on an issue by continuing to talk about it until it becomes crystalline. Talking at length about such matters often comes at a particularly high price.

The takeaway

Being long-winded is a bigger problem than many talkative people realize. Fortunately, there are solutions.

Alas, while these solutions may seem easy to implement, in practice, they require a fair amount of discipline. If only unconsciously, many voluble people, despite paying the price, are heavily invested in their blabbing ways.